Conversation can be the most sublime of human experiences.

This comes from the German poet Goethe.  Many would agree.  To have a real conversation is a great joy.

So how do you do it in your day to day interactions? And more particularly how do you do it at work? It being a “have a real conversation” (not the “it”, which is typically frowned upon at work!).

Step one, according to Hargrove, is to give up being in agreement all the time. He says to bring in the paradoxes, real conflicts and dilemnas.  Say what is really on your mind. It might just have the effect of holding up a mirror to yourself and others.  You might just cause a shift from posturing and defensiveness to authenticity, creativity and learning.

Most people are more concerned with “looking good” than “being good” (this Hargrove has some excellent viewpoints and I am not just agreeing). Looking good at all costs leads to turf protecting, colluding, covering up mistakes and growing resentment inside as anger and frustration build up.  I would say it even leads some to perfectionism which serves no one and in particular truly punishes the perfectionist himself.

So what undisscussble thing have you been harbouring?

In what areas of your life are you “looking good” instead of “being good”?

Sounds like answering these questions could be the start of a great conversation!  I am all ears.

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